Former Lovers and Lessons Learned

I was chatting with a former lover via instant message this morning. While we talk frequently, I have lately had some cause to reflect on all that I have learned from him. The lessons I have learned from him are very important and significant.

I learned from him that men cannot read minds and do not always ask the questions you want them to ask. There is so much that I regret not telling him when change might have been possible in his life. I didn't tell him what I wanted. I expected him to know. This expectation that a man who loves you can read your mind and just know what you want, comes from fear. I was afraid to expose my wants. What if he didn't want what I wanted?

Living from the heart involves letting go of attachment to certain outcomes. Unconditional love means that you do not need to control someone to love that person. If a lover does not want what I want, that in no way negates what I want and it doesn't lessen him either. Someone who loves me would listen to what I want even if he is unwilling or unable to share those wants so the only person hurt by an inability to share is, well, me.

I was afraid to take that intimate step of sharing my hopes and dreams with my lover and I regret that. Oddly, as we grew more distant in space and change in his life became more impossible, I have told him more. He is always sympathetic and caring and I have learned that in my next relationship (and I am confident there will be one) I had better open up and talk. Men don't read minds.