The Narcissistic Personality

Have you ever dated the narcissistic personality? Has it ever tried to marry you? I just dodged that bullet. I said no. The trick with narcissists is to realize that you have to say no for hours and sometimes days because it takes them a long time to hear the no and actually believe it. First, the narcissist has trouble hearing you over his or her self-absorbed internal dialogue. Second, the narcissist has trouble believing that you don't find the idea of sacrificing yourself at the alter of his or her needs the ultimate in self-fulfillment. They really believe that they are doing YOU a favor by sucking out your ability to experience any happiness whatsoever along with your will to live.

I'm heterosexual so my most recent godawful experience with a narcissist came in the form of a male--I can't say man as he's more like child-man. He really, sincerely believed that I should be thrilled to marry him and take care of his woes. Do I look desparate to you? I'm not.

Don't get me wrong. I would love a partner but the narcissist is incapable of partnership because he or she thinks your ultimate fulfillment should come from taking care of him or her. This guy was just unbelievable to me. He knows me? He never lets me say anything about what I want. It's all about him and what he needs. He loves me? He doesn't know me. I think what really bothered me was that he kept saying that he knew I wasn't like everyone else and wouldn't just be trying to get money or whatever out of him--not that he's got any. So his overall message was that I seemed to be a good person to use. He really believed I should be happy to be used by him. I told him he needed to get away from me. He makes me tense and unhappy because he's constantly trying to manipulate me and coerce me into what he wants. He got so mad he told me that he would not stay in touch with me and you know what I felt about that?

Happy!!